Robotperson

Wednesday night saw the momentous completion of my project to find the best bottled lager. Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a Beer Champions League™ 2005 Champion.

But before I reveal the winner, a few words about the format of the evening. Unlike the group stages, the final was a classic pyramidal knockout tournament – just like (and do I really need to say this again?) the equivalent stages of the UEFA Champions League. Competing pairs of beers were drawn randomly, blind tasted and scored as either a win (3pts) or draw (1pt each) by each participant. Scores were added to determine which beer was to progress. Whilst in the 2 previous evenings I revealed the beers after each round, tonight only the losing beers were identified – and then, only in the first knockout stage. I thought my savvy friends might start to infer beer identities from their knowledge of the earlier evenings.

Logistically there was more to do. 15 drink-offs meant 15 refills, so I was busy. And I needed enough beer for every possible lager to get through to the final, even though most wouldn’t. So I now have a fridge full of different beers, in quantities inversely proportional to their objectively rated quality. No great hardship

The night started badly with Milan scoring on 50 seconds. This depressed the atmosphere a bit, and the two goals that followed left me thinking that my mix of football, beer and statistical analysis might not be quite such a good idea as I had thought. All that was to change, of course…

The Results

Round 1

beer 1	beer 2	Dan	Lee	Adrian	Dave	Rob	winner
Rolling Rock	Superbok	d	w2	w1	w1	w1	Rolling Rock
Löwenbräu	Fosters	w1	w1	d	w1	w1	Löwenbräu
Kronenbourg	Dos Equis	w1	w1	w2	d	d	Kronenbourg
Budvar	Cruzcampo	d	w2	w2	d	w2	Cruzcampo
Carlsberg	Asahi	w1	w1	w2	w2	w2	Asahi
Heineken	Nastro	d	w2	w2	w1	w1	Heineken*
Chang	Becks	w2	w2	w2	w2	d	Becks
Kingfisher	San Miguel	w2	w2	w2	w2	w1	San Miguel

*Proceedings came to an abrupt halt as we decided how to settle a draw. There wasn’t enough beer for a penalty drink-off so I checked the results of the earlier rounds, the agreeable justification being that it would be like the away-goals rule. Tension was palpable as my laptop booted and I checked the points. Both beers competed in evening 1: Heineken scored 29; Nastro …28! Not for the first time that evening the Italians, heads in hands, were out.

Quarter finals

beer 1	beer 2	Dan	Lee	Adrian	Dave	Rob	winner
Heineken	Rolling Rock	w1	w1	w2	w2	w2	Rolling Rock
Cruzcampo	Löwenbräu	w2	w2	w1	w1	w2	Löwenbräu
Asahi	Becks	w2	w2	w1	w2	w1	Becks
San Miguel	Kronenbourg	w1	w1	w2	w1	w2	San Miguel

By this time things were really starting to hot up. The football was well into extra time and we knew that in both competitions, a winner was close.

Semi Finals

beer 1	beer 2	Dan	Lee	Adrian	Dave	Rob	winner
Becks	Rolling Rock	w2	w2	w2	w2	w2	Rolling Rock
Löwenbräu	San Miguel	w2	w2	w2	w2	w1	San Miguel

So Becks, the only seed to make it to the semi’s was whitewashed in the only unanimous verdict of the night by Rolling Rock, a surprisingly clean, light and crisp lager. And San Miguel almost as clearly routed Löwenbräu, much fancied as the highest scoring qualifier. Extra time ended in the football and I rushed to prepare the final taste-off. Beers were on the table, a pair of glasses in front of each of us as the penalties began.

There followed a brief and astonishingly tense hiatus as the shoot-out reached it’s denouement. Dave (a Red) momentarily forgot that the beers were for the taste-off and nearly downed his San Miguel. And then the room exploded.

The Man U – Bayern final of ‘99 has entered my personal mythology as one of the most incredible emotional roller-coaster rides of my life. This topped it, and then some. What a game. What a sport. Sometime later we re-entered the stratosphere and got it together sufficiently to make the final tasting.

Final

beer 1	beer 2	Dan	Lee	Adrian	Dave	Rob	winner
Rolling Rock	San Miguel	w2	w2	w2	w1	w2	San Miguel

So there we have it. San Miguel, Beer Champions League Champion 2005. Congratulation Señor. It took Dave to point out the parallel between our Spanish winning beer and Liverpool’s Spanish connections. That it should end in such symmetry pleasethed me greatly.

Go forth, my readers and drink San Miguel (or, if unavailable, other BCL approved beers in strict order of their ranking) safe in the knowledge that you are consuming the objectively best alcoholic beverage available.

This entry was posted on Saturday, May 28th, 2005 at 9:41 pm and is filed under Robotica. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.