Blaine
September 5th, 2003
I’m already sick of hearing about David Blaine’s ridiculous starvation stunt in his suspended plastic box near Tower Bridge.
It occurred to me yesterday that he needs to be taken down a rung or two, and that a Barbeque nearby would be a good idea: taunt the idiot with the smell of browning burgers. A quick e-mail round-up showed some support for the idea, but I already prefer Russell’s new suggestion of getting an remote control plane to orbit the perspex, trailing a message streamer reading something along the lines of "TWAT".
It’s this kind of spiteful behaviour in the face of someone conspicuously self-aggrandising that the English are so good at. Our schools and playgrounds have instilled a strong put-down mentality in us all, and I’m heartened to see it in action against the common enemy: Blaine. His box was pelted with eggs late on Friday night, and I read on BBC online about a guy who took his no. 2 driver and fired a dozen golf balls at the box from Tower Bridge. He missed, sadly, but that’s the spirit.
Update! – Weds 10th: It seems that Blaine has broken his silence to ask that the burger vans parked nearby move. According to Ananova, the smell of the frying onions was driving him crazy. Ha! Well, it probably knocks the BBQ idea on the head, but I’m pleased that my idea was right in principle. I find it satisfyingly ironic that the incident was a natural function of his celebrity – if he wasn’t popular then there would be no market for the burger vans to ply, so it’s his own fault. Git.
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