Archive for the 'Humans' Category


Sunday, July 24th, 2005

A few minutes ago Lara and I got on the train back to London from Yorkshire. "God’s own country" as Stefan likes to call it. It’s been a good stay. The train is looking busy, I think to myself as I help Lara over a pile of rucksacks, but we’ve got reservations so I’m not […]

Regulars #1

Thursday, June 9th, 2005

I’m on my way to work and I can see a man through the gap in the seats in front of me. He’s wearing a pressed blue shirt, a gingham tie in brittania colours and is immaculately coiffed. Outside it’s a bright, brilliant blue, and as he looks out of the window with his phone […]


Monday, August 30th, 2004

Battling through a post-BBQ stupor and bank-holiday Monday maliase, I’ve finally managed to collate the celeb spots mouldering in the leaf litter of the robotperson inbox. Try to contain your excitement as I teasingly reveal that the celebs for your consumption this time include royals, pugilists and a certain gap-toothed world-class footballer. Not to mention […]


Thursday, August 12th, 2004

Tonight I’ve had the pleasure of hearing my wife shout down the stairs: “Robbie, I’ve just dropped the digeridoo out the window!” It’s a phrase you’re never going to hear again, so savour it now and savour it well.

Pet hates part 1

Friday, May 28th, 2004

A phone call the other day reminded me that I’ve been meaning to write about pet hates. I picked up to a big "hello there!" and I’m ashamed to say that I didn’t recognise my own mother’s voice. Sorry Ma, but that telephone manner catches me out sometimes. You’re not the only one either, and […]

The Jesus wager

Wednesday, May 12th, 2004

During a pub lunch a couple of weeks ago the conversation turned to religion. Having been brought up a Catholic I’m reasonably well versed in the subject, so I was surprised when someone started talking about "Jesus’s brothers". "Jesus’ brothers? What you talking about, foo?!" …not my exact words, but they accurately convey whatever I […]

Celebrity Spots

Wednesday, November 12th, 2003

Finally, I am able to launch the Celebrity Spot page, with your hostess, robotperson entertainment correspondent Cassie Thompson. Welcome aboard Cassie! Cassie moves in circles mere mortals can only dream of, and she has graciously offered to give us some insight into her world via the magic of robotperson. Proceed to the Celebrity Spot page […]

Monkey Denim

Tuesday, September 9th, 2003

I’ve picked up Lara’s habit of checking out what jeans people are wearing whilst we’re out and about. Like checking people’s trainers, this has become a bit of a compulsive habit for me, and I’ve come up with a theory which might explain this: I reckon that in our brains there’s a low-level social monitoring […]


Friday, September 5th, 2003

I’m already sick of hearing about David Blaine’s ridiculous starvation stunt in his suspended plastic box near Tower Bridge. It occurred to me yesterday that he needs to be taken down a rung or two, and that a Barbeque nearby would be a good idea: taunt the idiot with the smell of browning burgers. A […]

Fatality at Purley Oaks

Thursday, August 14th, 2003

After work this evening my colleagues and I went round the corner to Babushka’s on Caledonian Road, for their new upstairs bar launch. Mind-bogglingly, this comprised not only of a free bar, but also decent waitress service and copious canapés. I love finger food (and culinary assonance), and as per usual, ate well beyond the […]